One of the principal reasons for male chastity is male orgasm control. I think it’s no exaggeration to say the desire of a man to have his orgasms controlled by a woman form the root of the entire male chastity lifestyle.
It is true there’s a small minority of women out there who initiate male chastity, but in my experience the whole phenomenon is almost exclusively male led at the beginning.
So, why do men enjoy having their orgasms controlled and, as usually happens, denied, sometimes for very long periods of time.
There are a few different reasons, but the two main ones I hear are:
1. Sheer physical pleasure
2. A craving to hand over control
The first of these is harder to understand if you’re not a man, I think.
Suffice it to say for men being on the threshold of orgasm for long periods of time (and this is exactly what happens after even a relatively short period of tease and denial) is as close as they’re going to come to the multiple orgasms we girls are blessed with so often.
Male orgasm control is not so much having their pleasure denied as it is being able to savour it. And who are we girls to argue?
The second point, a craving to hand over control, is mostly psychological and is probably one of those things you can understand only if you feel it, and if you feel it you don’t need it explaining. From what John tells me, I get an inkling it’s a little like I can feel in the arms of a strong man… there’s a thrill of danger because I know how strong he is and how powerless I am… but I also feel safe.
How to Control a Man’s Orgasms
First, you’re almost certainly going to have to lock him in some kind of chastity device if you want to be as sure as you can be of having male orgasm control. Although, that said, for many the “honour system” works well, too. Much of it depends on exactly why they want to embrace the male chastity lifestyle.
I’ve noticed if they’re more into the male-submission thing, then physically locking them up is a big part of it for them; but if they’re mostly into the male orgasm control per se, then while a chastity belt or device is the icing on the cake, it’s not strictly necessary all the time. But it does add to the pleasure, so give it a go!
Secondly, you’re going to have to both be able to read his body and know yourself when he’s about to orgasm and make sure he knows the rules. I know it might be a pain and perhaps seems contrary to the spirit of the male chastity lifestyle, but you have to take some responsibility. No matter how willing he is in principle, in the heat of the moment, he’s simply not thinking.
For example, you might tell him he has to tell you when he feels he can’t hold it back any longer; or you might go further and tell him he must not only tell you but also stop what he’s doing.
There are a couple of things you can do physically for male orgasm control, as well.
For example, you can push him off or simply stop what you’re doing.
This won’t always stop his orgasm if you’ve left things a little late, but it will give him the dreaded “ruined orgasm”. The effect of this is hard to describe, and while you might be a little peeved that he’s orgasmed, console yourself with the thought it’s been highly unsatisfactory for him and he might feel deflated, but he’s not going to feel like he’s orgasmed.
This is more male orgasm damage-limitation than male orgasm control.
Something else you can do is give his penis a good firm squeeze at the base. This will often stop his orgasm dead in its tracks, but can be difficult to do. It all depends what you’re doing and what position you’re in, to be blunt.
Finally, a friend of mine gives her husband’s penis a hard flick on the end with her finger. It apparently doesn’t hurt much but is one hell of a shock to him at the time, and does its job extremely well. I’ve never tried it, so I can’t speak from personal experience.
And if He Orgasms When You’ve Told Him He Can’t?
Well, that’s up to you and will depend largely on what kind of slant your own version of the male chastity lifestyle has.
Assuming, like me, you’re not into extreme caning and other corporal punishments meted out by women and dominatrixes in female-led relationships, I’ve always found a longer period of denial the next-time round works wonders. It’s important to realise you BOTH have a responsibility for stopping before it’s too late!
On the other hand, sometimes it’s just too funny for words and you laugh about it (while making sure next time you take a lot more care!).
Just remember it’s a bit of fun and you’re both supposed to be enjoying things.
Getting too serious about it can ruin it for a long time, believe me. Not only that but he wants male orgasm control so even though in the moment he’s a bit cheeky, on the whole he’ll be grateful if you’re strong and help him help you keep control.